Marty's comments from the memorial

Mary and I were partners from the start in the development of Two Acre Wood, searching for land, meetings every week for years, designing the development, watching it grow and finally moving in in 1999.  Mary and Dave were stalwarts of the process and continued to be during the 10 years we have lived there.  Dave watches over the buildings and grounds and for many years Mary has been the tender of the landscape.  While she was able, she was out there every day – pulling weeds, planting things and keeping an eye out to keep it gorgeous.  Nourishing the garden as it nourished her, as her gardening companion Lilith said.

But Mary was also a lover of fun!

In the planning and design stage of TAW, we made sure to have outlets on the front patios for the margarita blender – this is how Club 21 was born.

One of the things about cohousing that Mary and I both loved was the casual, easy socializing that can be done when we all live nearby.  One person sitting on their front patio could soon result in a small party with each neighbor bringing a snack or a bottle of wine (or margarita fixings!) to share – no planning, no driving.  Mary dubbed these informal gatherings Club 21.  When a small child would come running up to grab some food and run off again, Mary would teach them to “take just one” and then join the conversation before taking another.  This discouraged some of the kids but also resulted in some fine stories from some of the little ones.

I brought this margarita glass for Mary’s altar in honor of the many fun Club 21 gatherings we shared.

But the fun didn’t stop with Club 21.

Mary had decorations stored away someplace for every occasion – Christmas, Easter, Valentines Day – we always made a party of it.

Going off campus too.  Mary, want to go see the Mime Troupe?  Sure!  Want to go to the movies?  Sure!  Want to go to Sea Ranch for Thanksgiving?  Sure!  She was up for everything.  Mary really knew how to pack her life full of fun and adventure.  When I heard they were going to China, I wanted to go too.  Mary was an amazing traveling companion.  She took notes and documented every story and fact, and didn’t miss a single possible side trip.  She wanted it all and she got it!  Somewhere I have her documentation of our China trip, which I ought to post on her blog.

And she had such a way with words! I am sure going to miss her witty conversation, great sense of humor and stories about women’s history.  There will never be anyone quite like her. Here’s to Mary (lift margarita glass)

A Celebration of Mary's Life - March 6

All are invited to a celebration of Mary's life on March 6 from 3:00 to 6:30 or 7:00.  The first part will be a program of speakers, slides and videos telling about Mary's remarkable life.  This will be followed by a party with food and drink - just the way Mary would have liked it.

Event is at the Finley Center in Santa Rosa at the corner of West College and Stony Point Road.

It would be helpful if you would click on this Evite link and let us know if you are coming.

Women’s history once more, with feeling by Susan Swartz

Women’s history once more, with feeling

by Susan Swartz

Published: Wednesday, March 3, 2010 1:05 PM PST in the Sonoma West Times and News

Why do we have to keep dredging up women’s history? Why do we need all of March to talk about it? I mean, after all, that was then, this is now.

Can’t we just move on? We’ve got Hillary. We’ve got Nancy. We win Olympic medals. Women make history all the time. Yes, but we still have a couple of thousand years of male-dominated history to balance.

Thirty years ago a group of women in Sonoma County started doing the research on “where were the women?” and strove to do no less than rewrite, edit and fill in the blanks in history books. The Sonoma County Women’s History Project blossomed into the national women’s history project and March became women’s history month, recognized in all states.

One founder of the Women’s History Project was the late Mary Ruthsdotter of Sebastopol. Mary died this winter and her memorial was fittingly planned for this celebrated month. It will be Saturday at 3 p.m. at the Finley Community Center in Santa Rosa.

Mary really knew her history and would talk about the gutsy women of the past like old friends she’d just had over for coffee. One she described as “totally cool” was Jeannette Rankin from Montana, the first woman elected to Congress and who dared to vote against America entering World War I. “You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake,” said Rankin — suffragist, peace activist and Republican.

Bay Area filmmaker Louise Vance claims Elizabeth Cady Stanton, the women’s rights organizer, for her favorite. She tells the story of Stanton growing up and hearing her father, a judge, tell women who were beaten by their husbands that they couldn’t run away.

“The law supported her being recaptured and returned to him,” said Vance, adding that Stanton vowed from then on “to tear out all the pages in her father’s law books that made women cry.”

Vance has made a film called “Seneca Falls” that launches this month on PBS television stations across the country. It’s about America’s first women’s rights convention in 1848, a huge public protest by radicals demanding that women be freed from their social, political and legal slavery. It’s barely mentioned in history books.

The film follows a theater troupe of teenage girls from San Francisco who went to Seneca Falls in 1998 to perform a play at the 150th anniversary of the women’s convention.

When Vance field-tested the film last year she showed it to junior high and high school girls in Ohio. They were angered by what they saw and told Vance they had never spent one minute on women’s history in school. Same thing happened when she showed it to a group of high school girls in San Francisco.

It’s because what women were doing then wasn’t valued enough to be written down. Getting the vote was a huge story but there was so much more going on in terms of women’s rights. “How about the fact that it was once legal in some states to whip your wife,” said Vance.

What about women not being able to inherit property? Or not being allowed to go to college? Mary Ruthsdotter’s grandmother told her, “Some men used to think women belonged to them like their cows and pigs.”

So, yeah, we have to keep acknowledging our history.

And Vance has another idea. She wants to find a legislator who will push for a national bill mandating that women’s history be taught in all public schools.

Imagine the squeals and growls over that idea from those who still haven’t learned how to share.

Susan Swartz is an author and journalist in Sebastopol. You can also read her at www.juicytomatoes.com and hear her Another Voice commentary on KRCB-FM radio on Fridays. Email is susan@juicytomatoes.com.

From Jean Richards, Commissioner (retired), Monterey County Commission on the Status of Women

I will be there in thought today.  Mary will always be among us for certain!  In fact, I am showing Adelante Mujeres on Tuesday.  It is a great video and she put so much effort into it.  I first met Mary in the 90s at an Association for California Commissions for Women conference in Northern California.  Mary gave a great presentation and lit the women's history fire for many commissioners.  We have been spreading the word each March ever since!  What a fantastic treasure she was and her work will continue to inspire us.  If it can be done I would love to see a portion of one of her lectures posted on YouTube.  It would certainly bring comfort to those of us who miss her so.  When I put womens history in youtube's finder a few women pop up but I want Mary there, if it can be done.  Condolences to Mary's family and enjoy those wonderful memories.  Jean Richards, Commissioner (retired), Monterey County Commission on the Status of Women